Sexual Connection Is More Important Than Sexual Technique

Over the past while more and more men have been coming to learn, heal and explore, themselves and their sexuality.

Some are coming to this journey from a place of pain, of relationships ending, and the awareness of the part they played in that. From this, from the healing is the desire to be able to do it differently, and a big part of this, as they see it, is learning the sexual skills to really satisfy a woman. Or a man.

Some are coming to this from the understanding that they don’t know enough about sex, and the more techniques they learn the more they’ll be ‘A king in the bedroom.’

Some are coming because they want to be ‘A Tantric Master.’ And the mastery often needs to happen in a few weeks.

Here’s the thing.

Sexual technique is important, sexual skill is important.

And what’s even more important,  is connection and intimacy.

The Importance of Learning How to Please Her

Learning about her, or his body, is important.

Learning how to touch, where to touch is important.

Learning how to find her clitoris, her G-Spot, her A-Spot, her P-Spot are important.

Learning how to use your mouth and your tongue are important.

Learning how to use your genitals are important.

Learning about arousal is important.

Learning about breathing is important.

Learning about Expanded Orgasm, Sexual Rhythms, Positions, Massage, every technique under the sun is important.

Learning how to Connect Sexually

And learning to connect is even more important.

You’re not a robot.

Every partner you have is not a robot.

Everybody is different every day.

Our energy is different, our sexual energy is different, our body chemistry is different, our emotions are different, what we want is different, the spots that felt good yesterday are not there today, and so much more.

As important as knowing the skills are, the power is in the connection. In the intimacy.

The deepest fulfilment, regardless of the context of the experience, is in the connection.

The context could be a hook-up or a relationship. The power is in the connection.

If it’s all about the technique, it’s about a performance, it’s about fulfilling an ego, generally yours, and your partner is simply the way you’re doing that.

Connection involves so many more aspects of ourselves, including the heart.

A heart connection can be in the moment, can be for an hour, a night, a lifetime.

Connection is the energy.

Connection is the expansion.

Connection will allow us to feel more, in every way, deepen the sensation, deepen the fulfillment.

Connection is openness.

Connection is feeling.

Connection is presence. 

Connection is about pleasure.

It’s not having to have one orgasm or 10 or squirting or every position possible, depending on your flexibility.

It’s not bringing out every toy and rope and flogger and feather.

It’s listening to their desire.

Learn everything else, yes.

But if you want to be a sexual superhero, learn about connection.

Then you’ll start to understand what mastery really is.

You’ll understand that it means knowing yourself, knowing your body, your heart, your energy.

And sharing that, sharing yourself.

Come and learn guys, I love it when you do, I honour you in that.

And I say that every man who does, every man who comes to a healing journey, to a workshop, with every facilitator, makes it possible for every other man.

Learn about sex.

Learn about intimacy.

Learn the skills, the techniques.

And learn about connection.

I have developed an Intimacy Inventory cheat sheet, whcih you can access for free here.